Are these opening sentences for my article clever or annoying? (I am trying to evoke the hubris of a few of our Presidents, but I also don’t want people to dismiss Jones too quickly).
Bleg: Is this clever or annoying?
On October 7, 1930, satisfied that he was making the world safe for African Americans, President Thomas Elsa Jones welcomed his faculty to the fall meeting. The confidence of the white President of historically black Fisk University rose from the beautiful new library he stood in, erected through his fund-raising efforts. Partially finished Aaron Douglas murals carved black history into the walls and ceilings and illuminated the elegant meeting room. His confidence also emanated from a recent victory in the war on racism.